acepuppets

Krypton Factor Challenges Of Being A Parent!

Posted on: May 10, 2012


Through my three year journey as a parent I have discovered that there are moments that require a certain degree of patience and skill that is reminiscent of the practical tasks in The Krypton Factor.  This was brought to my attention today when my parents gave Alistair a wonderful pop up tent for his birthday.  Popping it was simple and quick, as it said on the box, however unpopping it involved three adults taking it in turns to wrestle it back into a bag that seemed too small – the whole effort was compounded by an interfering three year old who was convinced that he could do it.  In the end we managed to make it small enough to fit in the box with a third of it sticking out.

I have decided to make a list of the challenging practical tasks our little darlings expect us to conquer every day:-

Unpopping a pop up tent – as mentioned above.

Summoning a helium filled balloon from the sky – we have resorted to informing Alistair that it has gone up to Santa Clause to be made into presents.

Bringing the sea back in when the tide has gone out – we live near an estuary that is normally marsh land but looks like the sea when it is the seasonal high tide, Alistair calls it the seaside and loves to paddle in the shallower part of the water.

Resetting the television settings after your little monster has fiddled with the remote control –  often the screen setting is zoomed and the television doesn’t recognise the Free view box after my son has pressed all of the buttons.

Changing a nappy when they are squirming like a box of eels –  I had to stop using the raised changing table when my son decided that it was a good idea to roll over and attempt to stand up on it.

Cleaning teeth with a little tongue sticking out – my son likes to stick his tongue out when I help him clean his teeth and only open his mouth wide enough to poke the brush in a little bit.  I get round this by telling him that he can’t eat chocolate if he doesn’t clean his teeth.

Sorting out jigsaw puzzle pieces from a set of ten puzzles – whoever invented boxes filled with lots of different jigsaws in them that are to be sorted by the pattern on the back was obviously having a laugh.  Of course the parent has to spend hours sorting them out – I even made little boxes with labels, numbered the pieces on the back and identified the corresponding picture to make the whole jigsaw puzzle straight forward.  Where are the pieces now? – All mixed up in the big box after Alistair insisted that we kept the completed jigsaws in the box and then promptly shuffled the pieces as little ones do.

Drawing pictures of teddy bears at six o’clock in the morning – this is where I admit to my naughty parent antics.  When we are woken up very early to the wailing of our darling son we put him in the high chair with milk, crackers and something to play with while he watched Cbeebies.  Sometimes he would do drawing but liked me to draw pictures of teddy bears for him before I went back to bed.  Fortunately he is so fed up of Cbeebies now that we rarely have to do this – phew!

Making vegetables as attractive as chocolate – I’m still figuring this out but my wonderful child minder has got it cracked and I still give him purée in the  suck packets as well as him eating fruit so we are getting there.

Applying sun cream on a runaway child – this involves a quick slight of hand to get it on his face and squeezing a dollop on to his hand so he can do it himself and of course cheating by making him wear long sleeves and  trousers.

Putting a rigid toddler in a car seat –  this is especially embarrassing when he is screaming his head off and people pass because my car has the words, ‘Children’s Entertainer’, plastered all over the car!

Well these are a few of the challenges that I managed to attempt with with varying results.  I would love to hear other challenges people have overcome in this wonderful world where toddlers make you look very unsophisticated and silly – which for me isn’t difficult!

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