acepuppets

Archive for July 2012


Dear New Mum,

Congratulations on joining a society of millions around the world.  I am sure that you must be feeling quite tired and overwhelmed when you look at the tiny bundle you created.

I am writing this letter to give you the benefit of my experience of bringing a new life into the world, I admit that I am no real expert and that I have made errors along the way but in the three years of being a mother I have certainly learned a lot!

First of all enjoy being able to wear pyjamas all day and everyone assuming that you are tired, even if you are not.  Enjoy taking your brand new shiny push chair and baby out for a walk everyone will want to look at your baby and will ‘coo’ and ‘aaah’ in adoration – you will become friendly with the people you meet on your walks – this is useful for when your baby is a terrible toddler screaming for an ice cream, they will support you rather than cast judgement.

Don’t feel a failure if you can’t breast feed – sometimes life is like that and not all of us are able to breast feed so giving your baby formula means that you are making sure they are going to grow.

Be aware that babies between the ages of newborn and one will quite happily sleep a lot and are quite portable – they also haven’t discovered free will, make use of this and attend as many engagements you can.  Also a changing bag doesn’t seem so bulky when you are carrying a potty, three teddy’s, a car and four books.

When you go to baby club and your baby isn’t rolling, walking, talking, crawling etc as much as the other toddlers don’t fret because your baby is only sussing everything out and will be able to do everything eventually.  So instead of feeling inadequate and inferior – be grateful that you have a few extra weeks of not having to install eyes at the back of your head and can still have a drink in peace.

Everyone wants to hear the word ‘Mummy’ and it is indeed delightful and you shed a tear when you hear it the first few times, eventually the novelty will wear off and the word will sound more like a whine.  Remember once they start developing comprehension skills you will no longer be able to talk about what you are going to do in front of them because they will understand and pester and pester.

Understand that the baby manuals deal with the Terrible Twos, Threes, Fours, Fives etc very briefly as to avoid putting off potential parents and a huge decline in the population.  You will not be the first to tear your hair out nor the last, you will get wrinkles and bags on your face that you never thought existed and your house will look as if a tornado has hit it with gusto.

Potty training – don’t be in a rush to do this – wait until they are ready and understand the process, otherwise you will spend your life worrying about puddles and will have to keep dressing and undressing them.

Expose you baby to books from an early age so that they will enjoy them and will want to look and listen to the stories over and over again – children still enjoy the special story time and it is great before bedtime because you have a captive audience who will do anything rather than going to bed.

Cherish every moment – it goes quicker than you think.  Don’t dwell on bad days just keep moving forward and never be afraid to ask for advice, help etc – it doesn’t make you a bad mother – just a healthy and well one.  Remember your own health is important so look after yourself and keep yourself well.

Involve your baby’s father as much as possible – they don’t need to feel left out – if they take part in looking after the baby it will give you time to air those sexy pink knickers you have managed to fit back into.

That’s all for now – I am going to dye my increasingly grey roots – they seem to have got grayer and grayer over the past three years – I wonder why;)

Best wishes

From Sian

(a mother who has accepted that she is not perfect)

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