Archive for September 2017


When your child first starts school you worry about them; settling in, making friends, coping with the work and hope beyond hope that they will not become the victim of bullying.  You make friends with the other parents because you all have the welfare of your children in common.  As your child grows older mothers form friendship groups that can last a life time.  However, if you make the fatal mistake of making friends with a toxic person you are likely to find yourself isolated and alienated by other parents when the friendship turns sour.

Unfortunately, there are still adults who behave like children (worse than in some cases). If you are on the right side of these people your life is wonderful and waiting at the school gates is a social occasion.  If you dare to have a different opinion or challenge their bullying behavior towards others you seriously risk being ostracised (or being sent to Coventry).  They will use their loudness to play the victim and embrace the power of social media to show how hard done by they are. Suddenly you are ignored and others of similar ilk turn into juveniles and support the bully in isolating you.

This is when you realise that you only know these people because of the school run and that losing their friendship is not actually such a big deal.  As an adult, you can drop your child off early in the morning and arrive last minute to pick them up so you are not standing in hostile territory every day.  Being ignored and snubbed as an adult is difficult and upsetting enough so imagine what it is like for a child.  How can we expect child bullies to improve their behaviour if their parents find it perfectly acceptable?

Ironically if someone was to insult them, a friend or family member you can guarantee that they would have taken much more aversive action.  The school run is like being back in school again thrown together with people you would not naturally make friends with.  There are school bullies who are in their twenties, thirties and forties.  If your gut tells you to be wary listen because once the niceties associated with settling your child in school are over you may find that you have opened a hornet’s nest and laid yourself open to bullying.

If you are a parent who is the victim of a bully at the school gates, you are not the only one in the world.  It probably isn’t completely personal because they don’t see you as a person, only someone they can have power over and fulfil their sadistic need to cause pain and anguish.


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September 2017

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